One day last week, my plan was to write this article. No problem. However, on a trip upstairs, I went into my closet, suddenly felt extremely tired of seeing dark sweaters hanging and decided to move my winter clothes downstairs and my spring/summer clothes upstairs. Next thing I knew, I was dragging clothes up and down two flights for about an hour, deciding which items to give away, pulling sandals off of the upper shelf and replacing them with boots. The whole time I was asking myself why I was rearranging my closet when I really needed to write.
My husband and I joined the local YMCA back in January with the intention of working out one or two nights a week. We have yet to visit the Y. I’d love to take a class, but for some reason, I have not investigated further. We have found a church that we intend to join but haven’t found the time to talk to the pastor or get more involved.
I tell myself that I don’t have time for these things, and to some degree that’s true, but I wonder if that’s the whole story.
In our 60s and 70s, it can be difficult to force ourselves to do what we don’t feel like doing. Our income doesn’t depend on it, we no longer have small children who need our attention, and we don’t answer to anyone.
Or do we?
I didn’t feel like participating in several commitments that clutter my calendar this week. I was tired and would have loved to have taken the whole week off.
But I didn’t. Why not?
I want to be a person who keeps her commitments
Keeping commitments is important to me. For example, I committed to myself to write a newsletter every week, and as of last week I had written an article each week for a year. My husband and I are in groups that have existed for decades. Call me loyal or perhaps stubborn, but I will keep my commitments to the best of my ability.
Of course, there are times when circumstances out of our control cause us to break commitments. For example, my son and daughter-in-law just brought their beautiful adopted baby home, and we took the first opportunity to meet her. This meant cancelling a previous commitment. It was the correct choice.
It used to be that occasional crazy schedules were manageable, but in this stage of life that is less likely to be the case. Therefore, I am learning to prayerfully examine my schedule and priorities before agreeing to a commitment.
God filled my calendar
Sometimes things converge in a way that complicates life. A lot has been happening in the life of my family, and it’s all good. Our son and his family were in town last weekend and four generations enjoyed a beautiful day, and the next day we met our other son’s adopted daughter. Joy! But it also consumed time and energy. I have been praying that God would teach me how to let him be responsible for my agenda, for I know I’m a little too attached to it, and I believe this convergence is part of his answer.
Leave it to God to teach me by filling my schedule with fabulous things, and I admit to feeling a little foolish whining about being fatigued by these events. But the fact remains, I was tired, which affected my perception of all things. I had a talk with God about my attitude, told him exactly how I felt, and asked him to give me a healthier perspective.
In answer, he reminded me of the following paradoxical truth.
When I am weak, then I am strong.
When I wrote this, I was weak. I had no choice but to trust God, his Holy Spirit, to fill in what I couldn’t do, to give me strength.
It was a struggle.
Did I give in to grumpiness (I admit to some) or did I pray to be able to go about my day with energy, even though I had none? It was a mixed bag, not a miraculous success, but I got through the day, was at times frustrated, hopefully didn’t upset anyone, and couldn’t wait to get into bed.
Have you ever had a day like that?
I’m sure I had many days like this when I was working and/or when my children were young, but in those days, I just kept going. No question. Now that I’m less accountable and perhaps more easily fatigued it’s more of a struggle to do the right thing.
Retirement presents us with opportunities that are appealing, and we’d be wise to prayerfully take advantage of the right ones for us. This struggle of a day taught me to examine my priorities when making commitments and that over scheduling will still happen, but if God is filling my agenda, I should energetically participate whether I feel like it or not. It’s a good opportunity to trust God and test the paradoxical truth that when I am weak, then I am strong.
I’m not sure I passed the test, but something tells me that I’ll have another opportunity.
That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:10
Have you experienced similar scheduling struggles in retirement? If not, what has been the biggest struggle in your retirement experience?
Photo by DJ Johnson on Unsplash
I retired last August, and have had two knee replacements since. Now recovered, and not doing physical therapy, I struggle with time management more then when I was working!
I'm involved with facilitating a Bible study, and and a MOPS mentor mom, but the other days just slip by if I'm not intentional about time management and priorities.
* I have more time for Bible study and reflections, so that is first thing in the morning
* I try to schedule coffee with someone from church at least once a week, to mentor or encourage.
* We try to have a family over for dinner twice a month.
* Since none of our children live close (at least 800 miles away), we try to call often, and arrange visits with them. Easier said than done! They are busy!
* Staying insurance active is important.. Exercise, walking and hiking are part of our lifestyle.
* My husband is still working, and traveling overseas is part of his ministry, so I try to try to arrange my schedule around his work and travel.
In this "third third" of life, I don't want to waste time, but use it wisely in investing in others. The struggle is how too do it wisely!!
Very relatable and honest discussion. So blessed with many choices and family but we also realize rest is essential. This is hard because all of our choices are important including self reflection, but how do we prioritize? Thanks for sharing with your insight!