Recently, I was talking with a neighbor who is retired. He is in good shape, is always outside doing projects, and apparently has plenty of energy. The subject of retirement came up and I told him about this newsletter and my goal of expanding readers’ views of retirement.
He asked me what I meant by a broader view of retirement, and I responded with the facts that many retirees have decades left to live, and they have skill, ability, experience, and wisdom to offer. When put to use, not only is it a benefit to others, but it also makes the lives of retirees more enjoyable and energizing. It’s a shame to let all that talent and potential go to waste.
He said, ‘I don’t feel like I have much to offer.’
I know the feeling. As one who’s spent the majority of her adult life teaching the Bible as a volunteer, when I looked for a part-time job, I felt like I had little to offer an employer. I landed a job as a career advisor for a local high school, which I thoroughly enjoyed but still had moments of insecurity.
Why is it so easy to limit what we have to offer?
Three potential reasons come to mind.
Comparison Confusion.
When information overwhelms our phones and our minds every minute of every day, we might compare ourselves to those who have climbed to the top of the social media pile or have billions of dollars or have immense power in government or influence their many followers or have started successful non-profits to solve the social problems that plague our society. Yes, compared to those people, we have little to offer, but those are the wrong comparison points.
Retirement offers us the perspective to evaluate our potential objectively and honestly. By now, you realize what you can and can’t do, and you are comfortable with who you are. The only individual worth comparing yourself to is yourself. If you are seeking God and growing, that’s enough.
God cares about each one of us equally; he does not play favorites. He loves everyone and has a purpose for everyone, and he gives us what we need to accomplish our unique purposes.
Imposter Syndrome.
It’s the feeling that you’re faking it, that someone will eventually figure out that you don’t have what it takes. Imposter syndrome is similar to comparison confusion, but rather than comparing yourself to others, it’s internal doubt about your capabilities. You begin to feel like you are not worthy of success, and it can also keep your from attempting a new endeavor.
As a writer, I often feel like an imposter, but it helps me to know that many writers struggle to fend off the imposter syndrome. It tends to keep me stuck, fearful of trying new approaches or articles and hesitant about trying different ways to increase subscribers. I don’t actually know what I’m afraid of. Crazy.
When retired, we shouldn’t worry quite as much about being an imposter, for we know ourselves better, but without the security of our full-time jobs, we might try different areas of interest, experiment…and feel like an imposter. That discomfort, however, is the pathway to growth.
We are never imposters to God. He knows us better than we know ourselves, and when he gives us something to do, he will empower us to do it. God is most interested in our hearts, our faith, and our faith grows when we are obedient, even when we feel like an imposter. If our hearts are with God, we will never have to fear being an imposter.
The world’s problems are too big.
Reading the newspaper is discouraging. Crime is on the increase. Education is on a downward slope. The wars in Ukraine and Gaza are tragic. Politicians of both parties are acting selfishly and recklessly, and everyone knows it. People are still living under oppression and poverty.
It’s overwhelming, and since we can’t do anything about it, we tend to shake our heads, maybe pray, and think about something else. We cannot solve the world’s problems. But God can. God designed us to operate in community, and we all have a piece to contribute. It may be a small piece, in fact it usually is, but it’s important.
The best example of this is the story of Nehemiah, who was cupbearer to King Artaxerxes in about 445 BC. Nehemiah heard from his brother that the wall around Jerusalem was in disrepair and the people living there were in trouble, so he asked the king if he could go to Jerusalem to rebuild the wall.
Why did one guy think he could rebuild a wall around an entire city? Clearly, he couldn’t, but he led the people of Jerusalem to rebuild the parts of the wall directly in front of each one of them. Nehemiah 3 tells us of goldsmiths, perfume makers, priests, city rulers, servants, men and women, working on the repair of that wall.
It was an enormous task. Few people involved had the necessary skill to accomplish it. Their enemies called them all imposters. But they accomplished it.
So the wall was completed on the twenty-fifth of Elul, in fifty-two days. Nehemiah 6:15
If you feel limited in what you have to offer, remember that comparisons are not useful, that you are not an imposter, that God is the only one who can handle the problems in our world, and that you have skills and resources that he wants to use in cooperation with others in your community. Ultimately, remember to trust him.
My response to my neighbor when he said he didn’t have anything to offer was, ‘Oh, yes you do!’ Everyone does. I guarantee it.
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash
Judy, I am inspired by your abilities to stay relevant and help others do the same. God is so good
Lots to digest here. I’ve felt like a fraud off and on for many years! I thank God every day for one more day of life that I can celebrate who I really am , what I’ve accomplished and what I’m to do next.