Retirement means blessed release from stress and 40–50-hour work weeks, right? It means finally having control over your time. It means having the freedom to get out of town anytime you want. What a concept!
However, for some, retirement means childcare or eldercare or both and for others it means appointments with physical therapists and doctors. It may mean doing long put-off projects around the house, selling a home, or moving.
We desire freedom, but we still have responsibilities.
Currently, I have complete freedom to schedule my days, but I can’t always do the things I want to do, for I also have responsibilities. My parents are moving from independent to assisted living in the near future, and as we tour potential facilities and plan everything that needs to be done, I can see that my freedom will be impacted.
For almost a year, I’ve been encouraging retirees to figure out what they want to do with their time, their freedom, and every time I write an article about activities of interest, I’m interested. I want to tutor, take a class, or volunteer, but my responsibilities keep me from committing.
As I’ve thought through my schedule frustrations, I’ve come back to three ideas that have helped me to experience freedom and meet my responsibilities.
Establish Priorities
All throughout life, we’ve had to juggle priorities, and it’s no different in retirement. I once asked on Facebook for the first word that comes to mind was when hearing the word retirement. The first response was, Freedom! It makes sense. Everyone wants to be free to do what we want to do.
Retirees have 40+ hours a week that they didn’t have before to do with what they desire. What do you desire? It’s not easy to answer that question after decades of working to build a career and to provide for your family’s needs. Those years could be so busy that you rarely had time to ponder priorities; you just took things day by day and handled things as they came up.
Retirement gives you precious time to reassess your priorities. Do you have personal goals that are important to you? How about relationships that need some attention? It may be that your faith needs bolstering, and a Bible study or small group might help. Travel? Home updates? Volunteering? All of these are options, and it takes some serious thought to determine your priorities.
Express Gratitude
Whenever I feel schedule frustration, when I can’t do what I want to do, my first reaction is irritation. Fortunately, I usually calm down and realize that a far better response is gratitude. Rather than feeling overwhelmed with the needs of those who depend on me, I thank God for them and for the time, flexibility, health and energy that I have been given to help them.
I often thank God for the blessings upon blessings that have been given to us. (In fact, my husband starts to get fidgety as his food gets cold while I’m praying my gratitude.) In general, I’m very thankful, but to be honest, I can be a little late to the gratitude party at times.
Gratitude puts things in a healthier perspective.
Develop Trust
I firmly believe that God is allowing some and intervening in other events all over the world, that he knows what he’s doing, that his Holy Spirit is in me, that he has a perfect plan for my life and that he loves me. I know all of that intellectually. But do I trust that what he has allowed into my life is ultimately for my good?
Belief and trust are closely related, but I don’t believe they are the same thing. We can believe, but we learn what trust is when our faith is put to the test.
The story of Charles Blondin crossing Niagra Falls on a tightrope illustrates the difference between belief and trust. Blondin walked across the tightrope many times, backwards, blindfolded, pushing a wheelbarrow, and even cooking an omelet. Once, he asked his audience if they believed he could push someone across in the wheelbarrow, and of course, they replied, YES! But when asked who would volunteer to get in the wheelbarrow, no one did.
Intellectual belief is seeing and understanding; trust is stepping into a wheelbarrow and knowing that God will bring you across. The way to develop trust is to get in the wheelbarrow, either by choice or by necessity. It is frightening, but from the other side you will see God’s faithfulness and it won’t be quite as difficult next time. Throughout the ups and downs of life, I have learned that God is trustworthy.
When I cannot do what I want to do, I have to trust that what I’m doing instead is what God has put before me for my good.
Priorities and Freedom
With gratitude and trust in mind, I can better plan my days. My priorities have always been, God, family, friends, and work, in that order. I want to work, to write, to accomplish goals, but now my mom and dad need more of my time. My family takes priority.
God gives me the freedom to make a choice.
I trust that God will stretch my time, if necessary, to do what I need to do, and I’ve set my expectations appropriately and will keep my priorities in mind when scheduling my time. I’ll probably still get frustrated, overtired, and burned out, but hopefully I’ll remember my priorities, remain grateful, and trust God to manage my agenda.
It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Galatians 5:1
How do you balance the freedom of retirement with responsibilities?
Photo by Marije Woudsma on Unsplash
Desiring freedom but still juggling responsibilities certainly sums it up, Judy. Most often I want more of the former, but paradoxically I'm so grateful for the purpose that the latter brings to my life. Once again, an excellent piece.
Once again, great perspective and wisdom from Judy. As retired persons we have many opportunities to serve and enjoy life! What a blessing.