My husband worked for a non-profit for 8 years, and they were all about diversity. But the organization seemed to have had a blind spot when it came to ageism. He said that there were times when he felt overlooked as the “old white guy.”
That is not unusual. An article from the American Psychological Association is titled “Ageism is one of the last socially acceptable prejudices.” One reason may be that our attitudes toward older people were established when we were younger, and when we hit 50, 60, or 70, we think, now it’s me. But we don’t re-evaluate how we think about aging.
The goal of this newsletter is to open readers’ eyes to the opportunities and joy that retirement offers. It’s a time of life to explore, reimagine, experience new worlds, learn new skills or resurrect old ones, and enjoy life. It’s also a time of life in which we are aging more noticeably than in the past.
I had never thought much about aging, but I recently read a book that caused me to examine my beliefs about growing older. Becca Levy, PhD, in her book Breaking the Age Code: How Your Beliefs About Aging Determine How Long & Well You Live, reports on her research showing that how we think about aging ourselves has an impact on our brain, health, and happiness. We are more astute when we have a positive view of growing older.
In study after study I conducted, I found that older people with more-positive perceptions of aging performed better physically and cognitively than those with more-negative perceptions; they were more likely to recover from severe disability, they remembered better, they walked faster, and they even lived longer.
Becca Levy, PhD, Breaking the Age Code, p. 5
There is no magic age at which we become ‘old.’ We are all aging, but some are handling it better than others. Those of us in our 60s today are healthier as a whole than our grandparents’ generation was fifty years ago. My grandparents dealt with the depression, WWII, raised kids on limited budgets, and it certainly wasn’t easy. They seemed older than I feel at this stage of life. However, my grandparents lived into their 80s and 90s.
Today, more people are living to a healthy old age than ever before, but instead of seeing this as a societal advantage, it’s often looked at as a problem. This article describes the difficulties of aging; disability, loss, nursing homes, and income. Of course, those are issues for many people, but in my opinion the article over emphasized the challenges. Surely there are blessings to report.
What if our culture valued older adults? What if we looked at wrinkles, gray hair, and age spots as signs of a life well lived, experience, and wisdom? What if we sought them out and learned from them? What if we saw regular examples of healthy people living their best into their 90s?
How we think about aging, of course, it heavily influenced by the culture we live in, the information we take in, and our experiences. After a lifetime of advertisements telling us how to keep wrinkles away, color the gray out of our hair (guilty; I still do this), get rid of age spots, maintain a youthful figure, and a lack of depictions of aging well in television and movies, it’s no wonder that we see aging as negative.
Age beliefs don’t exist in a vacuum; they occupy the thrones of our minds, which are the control rooms for our bodies. They are part and parcel of how we code aging. They affect how we, as a culture and individuals, design, structure, and experience old age.
Becca Levy in Breaking the Age Code, p. 38
Levy proposes three steps to improve our view of aging: become aware of and identify negative age beliefs around us and in our own minds, blame ageism instead of aging, and challenge negative age beliefs.
This is all new to me, but I intend to pay attention to how older people are portrayed, the assumptions made about them, and any disrespect, intentional or not, shown to them.
Some forms of ageism are easy to observe: for example, the aisle that my local party store reserves for older birthdays. If you can’t find it, look for the sign that reads: “OVER THE HILL.” …Other instances of ageism are more challenging to notice because they involve the absence of older persons. Examples include a hospital that denies a needed medical treatment due to the patient’s age… Breaking the Age Code, p 160
This is a good place to begin. Notice. Pay attention. If you’re interested, read Levy’s book or others on the subject.
Ask yourself what your attitude is toward those who are older than you. Are they to be overlooked, treated as if they have little to offer or are they intelligent individuals with gifts and experience that will be a benefit to anyone who spends the time to talk with them?
Most importantly, consider how you feel about yourself as you age. Internalize positive images for who you will become as you age and resist the cultural negativity surrounding aging. Identify those you know who are older and are living well and get to know them better. Ask them how they feel about aging, notice how they live their lives, and learn from them.
The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old. Proverbs 20:29
Are you aware of ageism around you? Have you encountered it personally? Are there books, podcasts, or other resources you would recommend on the subject?
Photo by John Moeses Bauan on Unsplash
What an excellent article! I am saving this for future reference. At 70, I still don't think of myself as "old" and, truth be told, I'm uncomfortable when others my age categorize themselves that way, as often it's in a pejorative manner (jokingly, usually). I like to say that "Old" is 10 years ahead of where I currently am, and so the target keeps moving! Thank you for this thoughtful piece, Judy.
It’s a delicate issue for me but I work on more positive aspects every day. I do value aging more in others than I do in myself but I’m embracing this mysterious lifestyle with more ease and delight.